You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘toddler nursing’ tag.

 

i miss nursing my daughter.

jaundiced nugget in the hospital 

 two months old    all plumped up on mama's milk    happy as a clam

 sleepnig beauty  nugget nirvana

 pensive princess  i see you!

flight to new orleans

peek-a-boo

mother's day 2008

       

       

       

 one last nursie

good night

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oh, how i miss the simplicity of our nursing days.  life without breastfeeding is hard, and cancer certainly isn’t making it any easier.  crying was limited to brief moments following boo boos and over-tired minutes post car seat strap-ins.  it was never part of naptime or bedtime.  a balanced diet was effortless.

i never knew the struggle of naptime.  now i have to walk and rock nugget in my arms or in a peanut shell while she chews on a pacifier, maybe holds her blanket and always twiddles at least one nipple.  at night we lather, rinse, repeat or if i’m really lucky we just lay down and she holds on to each boob, binky clenched between her teeth and drifts off, dreaming of nursing i imagine.

i never knew a picky toddler.  whenever nugget was hungry or thirsty the milk bar was always open.  trying new and different foods was fun instead of stressful.  nugget’s tummy was never upset.  her favorite snack was always handy.  we never had to pack a meal to go out.

i did at least have a few weeks and the foresight to work in the concept of “kisses make boo boos all better.”  nugget still kisses my port and scars everyday.  recently she’s added my breasts to her fix-it list and kisses and hugs them all day long.  she’s trying her best to make mommy all better with her kisses, because she knows that’s when she can have her nursies back.

 

i’m off to spend one last night with my daughter happily cradled to my breast.

i’ll try to blog tomorrow after my first chemotherapy treatment.  it’s at 1pm edt and should take 3 1/2 – 4 hours.

 
here’s what i have to report after yesterday’s appointment.

well, it’s either stage 2 or stage 2a.  the a or b is determined by the presence of systemic symptoms like fever, nightsweats, etc.  the majority of the nodes involved are in the left side of my neck and in my chest, nothing beow the diapragm.  the marrow biopsy was negative but the pet scan shows that the spinal section near the affected area of my chest might also be involved.

i’m tentatively scheduled to start treatment on thursday.  i don’t have to.  my doctor said if i wanted more time with nugget i could have it because this type of cancer isn’t going to change in just a few days.

i have an appointment today with the oncology nurse practitioner to go over a bunch of things, kind of like the way they do it at the reproductive endocrinologist (ivf clinic).  my mom is going with me this time because she hasn’t met the oncologist yet.  i’ll decide when i’m going to start treatment after discussing our schedules with the nurse.

the first treatment will take the longest because they have to go slowly to check for any allergic reactions.  after that each session will take around three hours.

me of little faith

the nasty bits

i’ve ordered two books, anthony bourdain’s the nasty bits and lewis black’s me of little faith, but i’ll definitely be needing to download a bounty of new podcasts to help pass the time.  i’ve been in the treatment room once before, but it was mostly filled with older people who all seemed very into their various magazines and healthy snacks from home.  somehow i don’t see them providing me with hours of entertainment.

(incoincidentally sung to the tune of farmer in the dell)

pump and pump and pump
and pump and freeze and steam
pump and pump and pump and pump
and freeze and steam and eat

pump and pump and pump
and freeze and steam and sleep
wake and pump and pump and freeze
and steam and eat and sleep

 

these precious things

wordless wednesday

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