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well, today’s oncology appointment didn’t happen.  no, no, not by my choice! 

the new office actually called us yesterday afternoon asking to reschedule because someotherdoctor’sofficewhoshallremainnameless did not send the requested files.  apparently we are required to use their super special records request form. 

seems like perhaps they just wanted to get us on the phone so they could hear for themselves that in fact, no, we won’t ever be going back there, and yes, it’s just because we really don’t like them anymore.  um, i mean, “it’s just too far.”

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as much as this ostrich has enjoyed her view of the sand for the past two months, tomorrow i’ll be getting my head back in the game.  i have an appointment with a new oncologist.

i love my original oncologist, but he’s in northern virginia and that’s finally become a point of contention.  my transplant oncologist, however, is the one who sent me looking for the nearest sand pit, and truth be told, a new oncologist.  i really just could not deal with his callousness, nor step foot into that mcghetto hospital one more time, though i imagine anywhere i’d gone for the transplant i would now loathe.

 

my sister’s one-day sister-in-law (i just know it!) tagged me in a facebook note, “end of year meme.”  it would have been sooo easy to use the majority of her answers because, dude, it’s like she wrote them just for me!  but, alas, she did not, so i’ve crafted my own responses just for you.

 

  1. what did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
    was diagnosed with and treated for cancer
  2.  

  3. did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
    i don’t make them
  4.  

  5. did anyone close to you give birth?
    most recently, the greenes welcomed their twin girls
  6.  

  7. did anyone close to you die?
    i lost an old friend.  he was a great man.
  8.  

  9. what countries did you visit?
    chemoland.  it sucked.
    walt disney world
  10.  

  11. what would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
    energy and hair
  12.  

  13. what date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
    june 12th, it was the last time i nursed my daughter before i started chemo
  14.  

  15. what was your biggest achievement of the year?
    resuming nursing after battling cancer
  16.  

  17. what was your biggest failure?
    having to stop nursing
    yes,  i realize that was beyond my control, but to me it felt like failure.
  18.  

  19. did you suffer illness or injury?
    yes
  20.  

  21. what was the best thing you bought?
    our new house
  22.  

  23. whose behavior merited celebration?
    my mother’s
    my husband’s
    my daughter’s
  24.  

  25. whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
    northern virginia’s drivers
  26.  

  27. where did most of your money go?
    our new house
  28.  

  29. what did you get really, really, really excited about?
    taking my daughter to disney for the first time
  30.  

  31. what song will always remind you of 2008?
    the hot dog song
  32.  

  33. compared to this time last year, are you:
    happier or sadder?  happier
    thinner or fatter?  fatter
    richer or poorer?  poorer
  34.  

  35. what do you wish you’d done more of?
    crafted more homemade gifts
    visited more friends
    blogged more
    taken more photos and video of my family and friends
  36.  

  37. what do you wish you’d done less of?
    had less cancer
    gained less weight
  38.  

  39. how did you spend christmas?
    at our new house with my husband’s parents, brother, sister-in-law, and my parents, grandparents, aunt & her family and her godparents & their family
  40.  

  41. did you fall in love in 2008?
    every day
  42.  

  43. how many one-night stands?
    (seriously?  this one i have to change to something more mommy blog- friendly)
  44.  
    what changes did you make to “green up” your lifestyle?
    collected more reusable shopping bags and got my mom in the habit of using them, too
    started a compost pile
    chose a tankless hot water heater for the new house
     

  45. what was your favorite tv show?
    lost
  46.  

  47. do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
    hate?  that’s much too strong of a word.
  48.  

  49. what was the best book you read?
    did i read any books?  i know i started reading anthony bourdain’s the nasty bits, but i can’t even remember if i’ve finished it. 
  50.  

  51. what was your greatest musical discovery?
    steve burns’ and the flaming lips’ steven drozd’s ” i hog the ground”
     
  52.  

  53. what did you want and get?
    to nurse my daughter again
  54.  

  55. what did you want and not get?
    skinnier faster
  56.  

  57. what was your favorite film of this year?
    this is the last question i answered because, honestly, i can’t remember watching any movie in its entirety aside from charlie wilson’s war. so i guess that’s it.  though if i’d had opportunity to watch the x-files: i want to believe, i’m sure that would have beat out charlie wilson.
  58.  

  59. what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    went to my birthday party, 35
  60.  

  61. what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    having more energy and less nausea after chemo
  62.  

  63. how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
    chemo casual
  64.  

  65. what kept you sane?
    prozac and ativan
  66.  

  67. which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    oh, how i love me some brit-brit.  girl is a spectacular disaster!
  68.  

  69. what political issue stirred you the most?
    the presidential election, though that was more of a circus then an issue
  70.  

  71. whom did you miss?
    my friends from orlando
  72.  

  73. who was the best new person you met?
    my chemo nurse, danna
  74.  

  75. tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
    this is your life, right now.  this is what you get.  stop preparing for “someday” and start living it the way you want to now.
  76.  

  77. quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
    “it’s a brand new day,  whatcha  waitin’ for?”
  78.  

  79. tag five people to post their answers to this 2008 wrap-up meme. please link back to this blog from yours.
    non-lucid drivel
    the twinkies

    motherhood and cancer
    life with the moonhils
    returnjourney

 

phew!

thanksgiving was amazing, but now that all eighteen of our guests have finished the two turkeys and our four houseguests have safely returned home to their own, it’s back to regular life here at chez nugget.

rh duskrh graphite

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yesterday, i painted the laundry room restoration hardware dusk in anticipation on the arrival of our dryer from lowes. they keep calling us to postpone. damn it, i need that freaking dryer and it had better show up today! the ceiling will be graphite. i also painted the linen closet on the second floor dusk. 

electrolux 8 cubic feet wave touch perfect steam dryer in silver sands

our mattress is scheduled for delivery today as well.  no more sleeping on the twin mattress on the floor in the middle of the california king frame, fun as it’s been and all.  (and no more couch or guest room for nugget daddy.)

serta grandis low-profile mattress set

today is moving day! well, moving out day. we’re finally saying goodbye to tiny apartment. bye! thanks for the small, cramped, carpeted memories.

today is also chemo day. i’m getting dose #12. it was supposed to be my last.

tomorrow, the movers will unpack at the house. grandad will pick up tantie from the airport. crate and barrel will deliver the informal dining room’s table, chairs and bench. and with any luck, lowe’s will finally deliver our dryer.

all of our days seem jam packed like that right now. they’re exciting times. they’re also stressful and tiring. like chemo, i’m looking forward to the end of what feels like a marathon. i’m looking forward to regular life.

just a quick post to say we finally closed on our new house! we’re looking forward to installing lighting and bath fixtures, having appliances delivered and putting up paint swatches today. i really need to get back to sleep!

 

okay, actually eight isn’t enough as i’ve got four more chemo doses to go, but lord in heaven i am soooo over this shit.

i’m fat – newsflash – some people actually gain weight during chemo. thanks for that warning. someone please mail me a mumu because that’s all i’m going to fit in at the end of this.

i’m tired of this nasty taste in my mouth. i mostly drink carbonated beverages now because the bubbles help mask any strange flavors.

i’m exhausted and i can never get a good night’s sleep anymore.  last night nugget slept with her grandmamie though, so i slept with prince lunesta.

my face and neck are now turning a lovely shade of red for the first few days post chemo.  what makes the red man red?  i guess it’s chemo.

the neuropathy is causing me to drop things.  most unappreciated was the bowl of chicken tortilla soup in tiny apartment’s dining room/library/office which is oh so pleasantly carpeted in beige.

 

here’s yesterday’s chemo self-portrait.  i think i like this one best because you can’t see my hair.  when i look at it i just see me. 

you can check out the real world page for the hair update.  i shave it every week or so because while it is still growing, only about half of it is.  so, no, i don’t want to let that half start growing out into a lovely head of string hair.

chemo dose 8

 

here are the latest new house photos.  the fireplace mantle and hearth are in, and the hardwood flooring was going in on my last visit.

living room fireplace

sunroom wood floor installation

 

these two photos are a follow-up to my last post about the shake.  i got a lost of questions about that!

siding

shake

 

tomorrow, nugget and i are off to orlando to visit family and make her first trip to walt disney world.  i am beyond excited.  she just understands that she’ll get to see minnie’s, er, “mimmie’s” house, and girl loves her some mimmie!  mimmie loves you too, nugget!

wdw 25th anniversay train station photo shoot

now they have the right shake on our house

 

 

(also, jenny’s podcast: http://www.myspace.com/oncemorewithfeelingcast)

 

it’s difficult keeping up with a toddler all day.  it’s really difficult when you have cancer.  we have to start doing something different, for everyone’s sanity.  sure, people come to help, here and there, but it isn’t enough.  there are simply too many days when i can’t manage on my own.  we’ve got to find a solution.

we’re working on plans right now, plans for our house, plans for our lives, plans for my treatment.  it’s challenging figuring out how all the pieces of each individual puzzle are going to fit into the big picture.

we have to start splitting our time between here and there, “here” being where we live and “there” being where we will live.  down there we’ll be with my parents who will help with nugget and nugget daddy won’t have to “commute” two and a half hours.  i’ll be able to keep an eye on the house construction and bring a steady flow of coffee and doughnuts to the site.  up here i’ll continue with my treatment at my oncologist and we’ll keep nugget happily enrolled in her gymboree class.

tomorrow is my birthday.  so come life, let’s see what plans you’ve got for me this year.

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