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just spoke with my oncology nurse. my oncologist says he sees no change in this week’s scan from the last.

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i have a pet scan at vcu massey cancer center this afternoon.   so, today’s theme song is “fingers crossed,” by allison weiss.

allison has these awesome purple “fingers crossed” bracelets for sale here with all proceeds benefitting the trevor project, the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth.  i suggest you snag the bargain priced 2-for-$8 value pack right now.  go on.  i’ll wait.  thanks!

now, while you’re waiting for your super cool do-gooding bracelets to arrive, why don’t you watch allison’s “fingers crossed” video?

wasn’t that totally amazing?

hey!  you can download “fingers crossed” for free right here.  why don’t you go check out the rest of allison’s sweet merch and downloads, and find out when you can catch her live in a town near you?  but not with like a net or anything.  you shouldn’t try to physically ensnare her.  just buy a ticket to her show and enjoy her performance.  sing along, clap loudly, browse the merch table (bring cash!), perhaps thank her kindly and then be on your way.

oh, right, the pet scan… i’ll start nagging for results as soon as the report is available, which is usually the following day.  i’m sure doctors love when patients do that.  and as always, i’ll let you know what i know when i know.

i’ve got my fingers crossed.  hope you do, too.

photo by candice eley
photo by candice eley

read the full post at my sister’s blog, if i had a photograph

today marks the passing of one year since my stem cell transplant.

last year i spent thanksgiving in the hospital fighting for my life.  this year i celebrated at home with my family.

happy thanksgiving to you and yours.  let’s do this again next year.

mary jessica hammes has been working on my story for babygooroo.com.

it’s finally up.  go over and have a read, even if you think you already know it by heart.

click here to read pumping through chemotherapy at babygooroo.com

in seven days stand up 2 cancer will return to primetime. on september 10, 2010, at 8pm eastern and pacific, and 7pm central the one-hour fundraising event will be simulcast live and commercial-free on abc, cbs, fox, nbc, bio, discovery health, e!, g4, hbo, hbo latino, mlb network, mun2, showtime, smithsonian channel, the style network, tv one, and vh1.  it doesn’t matter which network you choose, as long as you choose to watch.

the 2008 telecast was viewed in more than 170 countries and helped raise over $100 million.  just like the 2008 broadcast, this year’s telecast will feature live performances by legendary recording artists and presentations by stars from film, television and sports, presenting content that offers viewers insights into cancer.

su2c aims to build continuing public support and donations for cutting-edge cancer research.  100% of all donations received from the public will go directly to cancer research.  viewers will be able to donate via phone, internet or text.  it doesn’t matter how you choose to donate, as long as you donate.

in fact, you can donate directly through my stand up 2 cancer team right here, right now.  my team has raised nearly $6000.  nearly.

you can choose to make a difference today.  you can can choose to make a difference on september 10th.  i hope you’ll choose both.  but it doesn’t matter which day you choose, as long as you stand up 2 cancer.

tanya’s got another excellent post up at the motherwear breastfeeding blog.  today, she writes about the value of breastmilk in cancer treatment.

it’s been known for some time that a component of breastmilk, called human alpha-lactalbubin made lethal to tumor cells (HAMLET for short!) causes cancer cells to die.

you can read more of tanya’s post here and read what i did with my own breastmilk during my battle with cancer here.  tanya also ran a piece on my journey here.

the cleanest i’ve been.  an end to the tears and the in-between years and the troubles i’ve seen?

well, at least for now.

this afternoon i had an appointment with my oncologist to go over my latest pet/ct scan results.  no uptake was noted except for in the thymus, which is expected post-transplant.

i’ll go back for a check-up in three months and if all is well then, i’ll have a ct scan three months after that.

why did i wake up at 4:30 am? why am i having nightsweats again? are they real or is the bed heater just too warm? is it simply more chemo-induced menopausal hot flashes or is it cancer?

wednesday’s results are really now just hours away. well, lots of hours, but still just hours now, and completely swallowing me whole.

we have a new pup. while i type, he lays next to me twitching with little doggie hiccups. he’s like a big, white, furry painkiller, sedative and heating pad all in one. now i understand animal therapy.

dogs need jobs, activities that will fill their days, occupy their thoughts and fulfill their sense of duty. mars knows his now. he takes care of me in my craziest of moments, naps at my side, escorts me downstairs at 3am and would undoubtedly protect me from even the slightest threat.

sure, he’d rather be chasing cats instead of being forced to “give them kisses!” or playing with the neighborhood dogs instead of learning to politely ignore the most exciting thing he sees all day, but he’s happily settling into his routine.

i wish i could bring him to all of my oncological appointments. i know he’ll be here waiting anxiously for me to get home, regardless of wednesday’s results. he’ll be more excited to see me than anyone else and couldn’t care less about how my scan went. mars is only interested in a pet if it starts on his head and trails down his back. good dog.

well, today’s oncology appointment didn’t happen.  no, no, not by my choice! 

the new office actually called us yesterday afternoon asking to reschedule because someotherdoctor’sofficewhoshallremainnameless did not send the requested files.  apparently we are required to use their super special records request form. 

seems like perhaps they just wanted to get us on the phone so they could hear for themselves that in fact, no, we won’t ever be going back there, and yes, it’s just because we really don’t like them anymore.  um, i mean, “it’s just too far.”

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