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international breastfeeding symbol: toddler version

the motherwear breastfeeding blog: international breastfeeding symbol: toddler version

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mary jessica hammes has been working on my story for babygooroo.com.

it’s finally up.  go over and have a read, even if you think you already know it by heart.

click here to read pumping through chemotherapy at babygooroo.com

town square, magic kingdom, walt disney world, february 2010

danielle & zane, bits & nugget at pelican bay beach, naples, florida 2-13-10

(but not) to do what i want any ol’ time. i’m just unhooked momentarily from tubes, which i have to say, is in fact,  heavenly.  i’m also really tired a can’t feel my way to type.  so here’s the round ‘up you’ve all been eagerly awaiting and hoping against hope for.

november 15,  a sunday, i checked into casa doyle for some amazing fun, food and frivolity.  seriously, i could totally live there as the non-participating sister wife.  dude, everyone needs a housewife and my dearest of friends does not disappoint.  there was coffee ready every morning.  we cooked breakfast, went out to lunches, ordered in for fun and made some spectacular dinners.  mostly i just stood there when the spectacular dinners were emerging.  there were two mammas, two nurslings, and (eventually two) very happy daddies with ex-disney girls for wives. 

monday, november 16th through wednesday, november 18th my amazing friend drove me to the pathology lab that does stem cell harvesting.  thursday, november 19th i was admitted here to the bmt (bone marrow transplant) unit.  all bmt units are generally still referred to as such since autologous and donor stem cell transplants are relatively new.  well, new enough not rename the units yet.my havest days were uneventful.  so was my check-in day.then day -5 (11/20) i started high-dose ICE chemo.  that lasted through the weekend and finished up on the early pat of day-2 (11/24).  the days -2 and -1 were mostly fluids and resting, and let me tell you, plenty of barfing.  nasty!

i got my stem cells back on wednesday, november 25, day 0.

we’re at day +3, and it’s saturday, november 28th.  i spiked a high fever last night, as was expected at some point.  i got all of my lines, blood and urine cultures right away.  then i woke up after a few hours of iv antibiotics and needed some benadryl to combat the red man syndrome i was suffering.

so there it is, my life in a nutshell so far.  i’m sure i missed plenty and didn’t talk any about the hospital drama with nugget visiting, but they’ve already beaten me back to a half slumber with the benadryl and reconnected me while i typed.

more to come, i promise!

well, cancer patients for one.  and i finally got some last night courtesy of some ambien.  a little phenergan & ativan combo caught me a few more hours this morning. 

now i’m anxiously awaiting the arrival for my friend dr. t., who’s bringing me panera for lunch.

nuggetdaddy brought me z pizza yesterday and it was heavenly.  it was the first real food i’d eaten in days.

i’ve been getting visitors, but everyone seems to come at the same time, so i have lots of long drawn out periods of boredom. 

the steroid jitters are the worst of it this time, next being the nausea, but that’s fairly well controlled.  i might have to have a transfusion before i go home, whihc will likely be tomorrow, but today’s hemoglobin went up so maybe not!

nuggetdaddy is running all around the state of virginia today for work, so i will only get to see nugget once and not unitl this evening.  bummer.

nugget and nuggetdaddy just left from their second visit today.  poor nugget is starting to get sad when she has to leave now.  ugh!   it just breaks my heart.  we try to focus her attention on going to see her friends and getting to eat a piece of candy once she gets in her carseat.  but, we can clearly see that she’s missing her mama a lot now.

my dear friend barbara visited me today.  she brought disney couture bracelets for nugget and me.  so sweet and just gorgeous (just like her)!

the steroids are really starting to get to me.  i have lots of nervous energy and have a hard time sitting still, despite the fact that i don’t exactly have loads of energy.  i had an ativan nap this afternoon and plan to have another one tonight with phenergan.

the nausea has really kicked in and my appetite is pretty much gone.  that’s okay though.  all i have to do is drink fluids.  i won’t be starving to death anytime soon.

okay, dear readers, that’s the best i can slap together for you right now.  have a good night!

this afternoon i was admitted to loudoun hospital for my second dose of eshap chemotherapy.  i’m trying my best to stay focused and positive, and not get dragged down by the knowledge of what’s to come.

nugget and nuggetdaddy are here with me the entire week this time.  they are staying with our amazing friends, kristie and brian,and their two little girls who live super close to the hospital, again.  i am so thankful to have such awesome friends and happy that nugget will have “the other mommy” to look after her. 

it’s really challenging being an ap mama while trapped in the hospital.  were he in the room, nuggetdaddy would remind me that that’s what daddies are for.  i’m so lucky to have a partner in parenting that shares the same goals and ideals as me.  i know staying at home would be easier for him.  i’m glad he’s got not only nugget’s, but my best interest at heart.

i’m too scatterbrained at the moment to write a long “yeah me!” post, so you’ll have to check back after the drugs kick in.

peace!

yesterday, nuggetdaddy and i dropped nugget off at grandad & grandmamie’s and then made the trek up to loudoun hospital where i was admitted and started my first day of eshap chemotherapy.  i’ll be here at least until friday.  my oncologist said he plans to keep me until he feels i’m well enough to go home.

nugget and nuggetdaddy will come up on wednesday or thursday and stay with friends in lansdowne until i’m ready to leave.  

nugget is already missing her mama.  she loved the video email, but cried for me tonight when we skyped.  i had to call back after she got into her pajamas and sing her winnie-the-pooh songs while she jumped on the bed.

the nurses are great so far.  the pharmacist = FAIL.  it took foreverrrrrr to get my pain meds, and frankly they’re no better than what i take at home.   one likes to imagine that at least while in the hospital, pain might be better managed. ahem.

moving on… it’s late and normal people are sleeping. the steroids coursing through my veins say to me, “hey, let’s party!”   i think i’m going to turn on the tv and take some ativan shortly to see if i can trick my body into sleeping.

good night, all. we’re only $74 from goal #2!  i really hope we can meet (& surpass) it while i’m in for this first dose of chemo!

. . . . . . . . . . .

in response to reaching the $3600 goal:

YEAH!!! you guys (and ladies) rock!  i am SO touched by your genorosity.  i hope you’ll continue to spread the word. feel free to pass along this link: http://bitsofmyself.com/help-me-make-a-stand/ it will give interested readers a taste of my blog and show them exactly how they can doante directly to my team.

want to search for my star in the constellation? check it out & pass it along! go to: http://www.standup2cancer.org/constellation-launch?op=search

. . . . . . . . . . .

babes in chemolandi’m deep into day two now.  feeling nauseated and in pain at times.  a wicked headache sprung up on me.  my face is a lovely shade of red from the chemo.  it happened last time, too.

i didn’t get much sleep last night (but that’s a story for another day’s post) so i’m going to try for a nap now.  wish me luck, since it’s shift switch time, and nothing good ever happens then.

tomorrow, we visit with the local oncologist and discuss what national cancer center my case will go to for review.  i am terrified.  i do not want tomorrow.  i do not want to be any closer to the hell that is going to rain down on my family for yet a second time.

the past few days i’ve spent with my head in the sand, as far as it will go, coming up for air only when someone insists on asking about tomorrow.

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i’ve also invested a good bit of time in starting my own standup2cancer team.  you can join it here.  our first goal will be to raise $1500 by my 36th birthday on august 15th.  this will be my second birthday spent fighting this disease.

now, i’m asking you, dear reader, to do whatever you can.  joindonate.  buy an awesome t-shirtinvite everyone you know.

hey, i have some really important things to tell you! you don't want to miss a single word. just enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and you'll receive notifications of new posts by email. the interwebs are super fun!

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